Last Minute Agony Before Turning 14

Yesterday, I was thirteen, now I turned fourteen. Today is the 26th day of June and it is written on my birth certificate. Usually, there is nothing so big deal when it is the day before my birthday, but yesterday was really something. Aside from having a pre-celebration together with my family, I also experienced a last minute pain. We were at the Jaro Cathedral to attend the anticipated Saturday Mass. The last time I entered the cathedral was last year's Centennial Celebration, so when I went inside, I was, as usual, amazed by its beauty especially the statues of various male saints and the paintings at the ceiling. And every time I enter the place, everything seems so solemn. There I predicted that even though I am not with my friends in any of my birthday celebration, this day will be unforgettable.

            The Mass has started and we were already singing the Gloria when I saw a white thing moving on the floor beside the pew where we were seated. The people near that side looked at the white thing. I was curious so I also gazed. There I found out that it was not a "moving thing" but a lame boy. I bet he was near my age or even more. He went forward and approached a woman, asking for alms. He stretched out his hand with a slipper. Yes, a slipper. Instead of his feet wearing a pair of slippers, his hands were the ones using them. Luckily, the woman gave him a penny of an amount which I don't know. Then he went back to the side of our pew and asked the old-aged couple for any amount of money. Again, he was given. At that time I was thinking that he will soon come to me for I was just a few centimeters away from the couple ( actually my sister was nearer to them ). As expected, he came to me crawling. I wasn't surprised, but terrified, like the last time I entered that place, when there was a girl also came to us. He stretched his hand to me, yet I looked straight at the altar. I can say some people at my back saw him and what I did. Then my mom poked my dad telling to give the boy money. My dad immediately gave a five-peso coin. Then, that was the time I looked at him. He balanced the coin on the slipper and used his other hand to get it and placed it inside his pocket. I looked at his eyes. After that, I refused to look straight at him again. In his eyes I saw the pain and the burden he has been experiencing. Those pitiful eyes touched me. If only I brought with me my coins, I would never ever hesitate to give him some. There, I caught myself not concentrating to the Mass.

            After receiving the coin, I thought he will leave and proceed to other Mass-goers. But no. He didn't. The old woman tapped his shoulder and whispered something to him. Of course I didn't hear a thing, but I can infer that the woman told him to stop going around and stay in one place for awhile. That is because that boy sat at the side of the pew in front of us. And that disturbed me more from listening to the readings. He has a wound near his left eye because he has a makeshift bandage using a white cloth. His feet were like of the Chinese women having lotus feet. They were small and I am sure they had stopped growing. My sister told me that there's a term for the act of the 'sindikato' making the feet of the children turn like the ones of the boy. The priest who I knew and met a year ago was having his homily already when I saw the boy gazing from side to side. He looked at one of the flat screens hung on the pillars of the cathedral. He was resting for a while when he decided to leave. I did not see him after he left. I thought he will come back, but he didn't. The Mass has ended and so we went out. I looked around and saw no sign of him. There were no more beggars outside. Perhaps because it was already past six. I was really eager to know where he went. Maybe he has some friends with him and they searched for shelter. Or maybe he has a family. Or maybe... I hope not... he went to the 'sindikato' to give the money he earned from begging. I hope he didn't. And I hope what my sister said about those 'sindikato' is not true at all. We already reached home after eating in a restaurant, yet his eyes kept on flashing back in my mind. Those pitiful eyes.

            My last day being a thirteen year old girl has left a memory in me. And I am sure that this will not just vanish in my mind nor in my heart right away. The, in fact, will leave a scar in my heart. It was just an instant where my eyes meet the ones of a poor boy, probably of my age. That was all. An instance common to all. An instance where one ignores a hand of the poor. " Love the least, the last, and the lost," that's what Fr. Nathaniel ( the celebrant) mentioned in his homily. Now, I always think of him... of his condition and his future. I hope to see him again the next time I go to the Cathedral. And I hope to see him better than yesterday.

Be Like Water If You Must

What are you staring at?

Those teary eyes... they are shameful.

Don't you dare show them how weak you are, you're strong...

You should be.

Don't bow your head down... be tough!

Don't let them know you are close to giving up.

Never show them you are grieving when you know you can still stand.

When you fall, don't stay long being low... rise!

When you have a wound,

Don't expect it to totally vanish away... it will always leave a scar in you...

In your heart.

Do your best... your all.

Let sincerity conquer you.

Let courage dominate you.

Be simple in anything you do.

Keep still in a while... don't rush things,

For they have their own time of arrival.

Be like water... which goes with the flow of everything... of life.

Be like water... which peace is visible in one's personality.

Be like water... which do things selflessly.

Be like water... and eternal joy will be yours.

A Walk To Remember

         
              Rocky road, hilly paths, dark caves, eery sounds, tiring journey. That's what one freshman can say after a long trip to Bulabog Putian National Park, Dingle. I am no longer a freshman, though I still want to. But, what made me post another blog is because I was totally bored so I scanned through my files in our laptop. Yes, I found these pics in one of my folders. Okay, going back to the main topic. the field trip was indeed exhausting. My joints were like giving up and my bones were sort of breaking down. A lot of us were compllaining while in the middle of the walk. After entering three dark caves, each one grabbed her own seat and immediately took out her lunch. We were all starving to the max! I really can't tell exactly, but I think we've walked around two to three kilometers or maybe more than that. But, out of the flat-floor-longing sessions we had, we still enjoyed, I know we did. After having our lunch, we (some of my friends and I) played this "Truth Or Dare" game with a twist ( one that, I believe, is funnier and more enjoying than that of the original). 


And ofcourse, as usual, upon reaching the bus, everybody (most) slept. Well, I am not one of them. I was noisy at first. But when I found out that my partner beside fell asleep, my co-noise makers also fell asleep, and the rest were doing their own businesses, I started to calm down ( I just calmed down, not slept) and ate my extra snacks. And then, there I found out that my tennis shoe got broken.

Now, are you wondering why I entitled this blog post, "A Walk To Remember"? It is because as I was walking to and fro, I felt that everything was a dream. I can't believe that I have reached the place. In fact, I don't even know why I can't believe that that was happening. The ground looked so rocky but with green weeds thingy as if there used to be water flowing down the pathway. The temperature there was different compared to the city. My classmates looked different, they acted different to me. I am sure that they didn't know what I was feeling because I didn't bother to tell them about it. Until now, I felt like it was a dream. 


Thus I call it a walk to remember, an experience never to forget, a story that I should tell to any whose interested. And I believe that the students who will soon visit the place will suely enjoy it there.

The Man Whose Love Reached Every Filipino -reaction statement to the article, time to relearn what Rizal stood for

        
      JOSE RIZAL- chess player, propagandist, nationalist, communicator, novelist, fencer, sharp shooter, researcher, artist, sociologist, opthamologist, botanist, businessman, musician, poet, farmer, actor, traveller, historian, anthropologist, ethmologist, educator, hero


" ...love of country is never effaced once it has penetrated the heart, because it carries with it a divine stamp which renders it eternal and imperishable... Of all loves, that of country is the greatest, the most heroic, and the most disinterested"- Rizal


He carries a big name, famous all over the earth. A name that brings a title wherever it goes. He is one of the greatest heroes ever known. To us, Filipinos, he is a gift. The man who made the indios raise their bolos to the air; who awakened the hearts of every Juan dela Cruz; who fought for freedom because of his love for his country. He is, by far, the man who has proven his patriotism until his last words, his last breath. For the country, he faced death. 


Now, we are the ones enjoying the fruits of his labor, his sacrifices. He has given us what our ancestors longed for. He is the reason behind our celebration of Phiippine Independence Day, our freedom. He is our inspiration. our model in loving our own country; to be like him in our own little ways. To open our hearts for another kind of love- PATRIOTISM- that is. 


" You wish to love but find no one worthy, look to your country, love her!" -Jose Rizal

As The Day Sets ( A longing for those days to come again)

I used to be with my friends,
Lying on the grassy field,
Telling stories each one,
Sharing secrets and having fun.
Our faces perspiring
While playing games and enjoying
the moments as the day sets.


I used to be at the swing,
Pushing a friend into the air,
With our shoes off and socks soiled.
Running around so time not to be spoiled
With smiles on our faces,
And so the pain in me eases.
While sitting on the field,
As the day sets.


Now, I am sitting, not on the field
With my eyes on those seated 
on the spot where we used to be
No more stories to share,
Nor secrets to tell.
No more smiles to see,
Nor friends to be with.
No more joy to feel,
Nor a touch of ease.


I wish for those days to come again,
Liven me up in this dark world of longing
For time to bring back those days
Where I used to be on the field
With my friends,
smiling as the day ends.

The Pandemonium of My Thoughts

         Amid the silence of my mind, notions dwell. With my tightly closed mouth, a myriad of words shout. My feeble mind is over powered by several disturbing questions. Tell me, what is this delirium for?
           
        Every second, every minute, and every day, thoughts pile up in my brain, leaving a bunch of questions yet to be answered. A treasure chest with a key somewhere waiting to be found. Similar questions and puzzles visit me every single day, expecting to be noticed and put to priority. Yet still, they are ignored. Then again, the cycle continues until they are at peace.
          
        Worries....the fear of the unknown- the tomorrow. So many 'what ifs' in my mind. What if stronger tides await me as the dawn breaks  for a new day? The worries I keep on bringing wherever I go seem to be more massive as time passes by. My mind is already full of predictions. I am tired of it. I am full of predictions to the extent that most will never happen, even in the centuries to come.
          
        Each day I struggle, striving to overcome every obstacle no matter how hard it is. The mysteries of my life seem to never end. The fact that no living soul on this world has not encountered any trial. Life has no trial and error method that once you have made a mistake, you can repeat again and again until you perfect things. I say, challenges make you do things NOW or NEVER.

I, honestly, can't describe myself as an optimistic person nor a pesimistic one.I stic kto the truth that in reality, lif cannot be always like one in heaven. Thus, life is full of surprises. Yet surprise doesn't always mean something you will like- it may displease you. No person on earth experiences full time of daily bliss, nor day-to-day burden of problems. The balance of trials and relief, sorrow and joy, frustration and rest- that what makes life beautiful. For it is in our downcast and tears where we learn to stand up and it is in our success and gladness where we learn to give. 
Bottom line, life is indeed a maze. One makes choices of which pathway to use, to go slow or to hurry things, to give up or remain strong. And as you journey, you will meet people who are also solving the mysteries of their life. It is your choice whether you will let them join your quest or not. All you have to do is to enjoy the gift of life.

Hear ends the long-kept cry of my mind. Thoughts waiting to be blurted out in any possible way have just turned into words on this screen. My mind has relieved once again. Worries, problems, and hopes- these are just three of the many things that keep on roaring in my mind.

Now, it is time for you to grab a paper and a pen and begin writing the pandemonium of your thoughts.

Fate? Does that Bother You?

            When we hear the word 'destiny', what often comes to our mind is the future. It sometimes disturbs us when we think about what we will be ten years from now. It is sad to say that several people depend on their fate. And whenever I hear the cliche statement, ' It's destiny and I can't change it', I would secretly laugh, knowing that we are actually the ones who make our destiny. Well, at least, some of us. Yes, we do things for our future- WE SHOULD. I got this from a movie I watched. Not to mention the title, it has struck and inspired me to take every step to have my dreams come true. And that movie motivated me to make this as my topic for my blog.

           

            LIVE YOUR LIVE!- that's the thing. Letting the time come and go, and the day pass is definitely just an ordinary day. In fact, the person who has this manner surely had a lot of regrets and frustrations in life. And that is somehow boring. But on the other hand, waking up every single day, straining every nerve to make one's expectations turn to reality, is absolutely, a hyper-active person in life. Life, then, becomes less regretful and more of satisfaction. So if something undesirable happens, don't say, " My destiny is an ocean of catastrophe", but rather, " Because of what I did, this became my prize". In other words, your destiny is just the outcome of what you did and didn't do. Like one text message I received from a friend, "regrets are not what you did, but what you didn't do", so take every opportunity and make the most of it. You should rule your future, not that your future rules you. There's nothing wrong in filling up one's mind with lots of expectations, as long as you put it into actions.

           

            Now, the question is: Fate- Does that bother you? OR Fate- Does that challenge you? In my case, fate CHALLENGES me. You see, if it BOTHERS you, that means there is a 50-50 condition whether or not you are afraid that fate will be a nightmare. On the other hand, if fate CHALLENGES you, that means you are motivated to strive and work harder for your future.

           

            So for people who just expect and expect, hope and hope, foresee and foresee, and take no action, FATE is a word that DOES kill them. But for those who take every opportunity to make things happen and do not only foresee but make moves for a satisfying and worthy tomorrow, FATE is just a four-letter word in a hardbound dictionary, found in every library throughout the world.